The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
We tend to have a need to have control over our lives, and if your anything like me you have to have control over everything and you hate feeling out of control. Unfortunately, we don’t have control over the things that happen to us, but we do have control over how we respond to the situation. We tent to attach ourselves to the negative aspects of what happens to us. This could stem from how you were raised, this could stem from you seeing the reactions from the adults around you when you were growing up, or it could be the beliefs and ideas of the people you surround yourself with. This all really doesn’t matter you have no control over your childhood, but you definitely have control over what type of an adult you are. You have control over every decision you make and don’t make. We’re constantly making decisions every day and every minute of the day. We make decisions on what type of foods we want to put in our bodies, we make decisions on how we see ourselves, how we treat ourselves, how we allow other people to treat us, etc. It all causes a chain reaction to what will happen later that day, later that week, later that year, or what happens a few years later.
We try so hard to control things that we’ll even cling on to anything that feels safe or familiar even if it’s bad for us or are keeping us from reaching our full potential. I’m not just talking about clinging on to material things and people, I’m also talking about clinging on to thoughts and ideas. If you’re attached to the idea that you hate your job so it doesn’t matter if you only put in half the effort because you’re only there to collect a paycheck. But what you truly want is a job and a life that you jump out of bed giddy with disbelief that you get to go to a job that doesn’t feel like work because you love it so much. You have to take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. If you have to work a job you hate because it’s going to get you closer to your goals then do it and remember why you are doing it. Remembering why your doing something that is going to get you closer to the type of life you want to live will hopefully change your perception on not wanting to do that task or that job. If it just then you need to rethink how back you want that goal, or why do you want that goal? Is it something you truly want or are you doing because someone else thinks you should and you want to make them proud.
The things that we can control are the most important things just like choosing to love ourselves. Also, lean into the bad things or the “bad days” It doesn’t matter what happens if we approach it with an open mind we’ll learn a lesson from that situation and come out a better and stronger person for it. Now if you believe that your beliefs and ideas are right or you don’t think you have control over feeling negative, or you think your not being negative you just telling “the truth”, then your mind will stay closed and you won’t learn anything. By not learning from you situation or your mistakes you’ll keep repeating them over and over, then you’ll fall into the victim mentality of “why is this happening to me?”. I don’t know about you but I rather be the hero in my story than the victim aka the damsel in distress. So let go of the need to control things, situations, and even people, and take responsibility and control over your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and ideas.
Things you have control over.
- What you think about
- What you say to yourself
- What you are thankful for
- How you interpret situations
- How you act on your feelings
- How much effort you put into something
- When you smile
- When you sleep
- Your physical fitness
- Your mental health
- Your body language
- How seriously you take life
- The people you allow in your life
- What you talk about
- How you take care of yourself
- How you take care of your things
- The kindness you give to the people around you
- Your perspective on the world
- What you make a priority in your life
- The things you choose to believe in
- How hard you try
- How personally you take something
That’s all I have for tonight. I hope you got a new perspective on what you have control over if you didn’t know this already. So take control of your thoughts and actions, and don’t let anyone have control over your emotions. Only you have control over you.